Executive Coaching
by Caroline M. Spira, MPA, CEC
Have you ever experienced one of those moments when your confidence is shaken? Just enough to rattle you a bit? We all have. Someone once referred to these as “confidence tremors” – what a nice way to put it.
Confidence tremors do not prove a lack of self-confidence. In fact, they actually attest to an individual’s openness to self-assessment. These are mentally and professionally healthy so long as one does not let the tremors become full on major quakes.
Working with a coach is a good way to do a check-in process on these confidence tremors. One can, confidentially, work through the situation where these happened and get the clarity to move forward. But coaching isn’t available 24-7. Nor is it needed for every tremor-to-quake situation. Identifying ways to think through tremors on one’s own can help keep focus on the bigger and better things ahead.
Confidence tremors are not restricted to individuals. Organizations and businesses can also experience these. A business, or a team within the business, may suffer a confidence tremor after losing a client or failing to win a bid thought to be a slam dunk. Whether an individual or a team, the way to get past it is essentially the same.
When the trembling starts, it’s time to stop, think and define. That means taking a breath, and stepping back. Emotions tend to play a huge place in confidence tremors and quakes, so tapping into your inner objectivity may be a challenge. However, this offers the best means to focus clearly. So breathe some more and look for ways to think outside of the feelings. When you reach this place, objectively ask yourself: what’s going on?
Assess the situation by looking for meaning instead of reactions. For example, if the tremor is caused by a comment from a co-worker, can you determine where the comment came from? Did the person have specific knowledge that you didn’t have? Are they making the comment to hurt, help or was unconscious? What does this reveal to you?
Now that you have taken a snapshot of the situation, you can then start to strategize more effectively. What things can you change that will move you past this specific tremor? What seems unchangeable but is actually the one thing that would blow the tremor or quake right out of the water? What’s worked in the past when a similar situation occurred? How are you going to put your plans into action? And when?
Before moving right into it. Take another step back and let yourself absorb these strategies. If the tremor was about having lost a client and your strategy is to make a quick turn around to win over another client, is the link between the “loss” and the “win” clear enough to move beyond the tremor?
Also remember to bring the feelings back from that place of objectivity about yourself, your team, and your company. Are you now empowered? Energetic? Ecstatic?
Once you feel you have managed “the confidence tremor” and found a strategy to move beyond it, DO IT! Move forward – right now! Implement your strategy. What are you waiting for???? (the answer better not be another quake!)
Tremors should never govern how one moves through life or takes on challenges. But when they occur:
- Stop, think, define
- Assess
- Strategize
- Absorb
- Move forward – right now!